i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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