Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
