For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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