found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
