I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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