I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Are we still banned from the library?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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