Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
