how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize