I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
