Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
