I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
