I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
