My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
do nipples grow back?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
