The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my being single is dangerous.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
