the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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