That's intense
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
