I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
