btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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