So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
