people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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