You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
