I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
