I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
