...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
