so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
