I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
