Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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