I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
