I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
