We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
