trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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