who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
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