I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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