Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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