But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
