This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
