a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
