Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
