he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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