I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
