walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
There was a lot of him and a little penis
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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