at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
