we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize