And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
