I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize