Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
