he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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