Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize