im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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