There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
