Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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