Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
