He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
