Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
