I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
