It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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