Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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