He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
