Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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