Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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