My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
