yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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