I accidentally had phone sex last night
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
